What does it mean to truly forgive? Is forgiveness a conscious choice or an emotional choice? Or does it matter.
The act of forgiveness doesn’t come easy for most. I’m sure we can all recall a time or two when someone has wronged us. Betrayal hurts, no matter how big or small the act, how far back this experience took place, or whether it’s a family member or a friend.
Think back on a time when someone betrayed, offended, or cheated you. How did you react to this? How did it make you feel? Did it consume part of your life? Having feelings of anger or rage are normal. However, if you’re holding onto these emotions for weeks, months or even years, your letting someone else dictate your happiness and control your emotional well-being.
Your probably shaking your head (No) as your reading this, thinking that if you’re not in contact with that person or have little to no interaction with them, how could they possibly have a hold over your emotion or even your life.
OK. Let’s evaluate this. Since having been betrayed, have you discussed the incident with someone other than the person you have the issue with? Have you had thoughts of that person? Are you waiting for the other person to apologize?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then your emotions and your life functions around the other persons actions. If you answered yes that your waiting for the other person to apologize. don’t hold your breath. Maybe they feel they don’t owe you an apology or there is a great chance they’re not aware that they’ve wronged you. How could that be , you say.
Well, think about a time when you’ve been accused of hurting a friend or family. When it was brought to your attention, you were caught off guard. SO, the time and energy you put into being upset, unhappy or loosing sleep, is your loss, literally
Heres your red flag🚩. Forgiveness does not excuse the behavior, it prevent the behavior from destroying your heart and emotions. There is power in forgiveness.
The other person doesn’t need to know you forgave them, remember, this is about you, not them.
Some of you are reading this and rolling your 👀, and thinking, “oh they need to know” so they can apologize, That would have been my exact reaction a few years back.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a choice. A choice to gain back control over your life. As I’m writing this, there are a few people i need to forgive, so that I can move on.
Remember, Live life with no regrets
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV